Credibility: An Essential Ingredient for Authentic, Civil Conversation
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Authentic, civil conversation does not depend on being nice, friendly, or having surface charm. We can be direct, challenging, even confrontational and not wholly personable, and still maintain others' respect, provided we are credible. We put our credibility in doubt when we are or are perceived as untruthful, insincere, evasive, or manipulative, or demonstrate similar traits.
Our conversations, especially when we must make our case during disagreement and conflict, depend on others' acceptance of us and what we present at face value. The quickest way to achieve acceptance is by being consistently credible, not just in the moment of conversation but in our relationships and what others know of us leading up to the conversation. Lacking this, conversation bogs down and we fail to get our point across, much less acknowledged or agreed to, because others don't trust us or what we have to say.
Stephen M.R. Covey, in "The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything," discusses how quickly and readily others will accept us and what we say and do based on how we establish ourselves as credible -- or not. If we want quicker acceptance of our ideas, perspectives, and needs, or if we want to get to quicker understanding, collaboration, and results, we must endeavor to develop and maintain credibility and, consequently, trust with others.
Covey discusses "4 Cores of Credibility" which are integrity, intent, capabilities, and results. Imagine a tree. "Integrity" and "intent" relate to our "character," which are bedrock qualities on which our credibility depends, like a tree depends on a strong root system (integrity) and solid trunk (intent) to grow and flourish. "Capabilities" and "results" relate to our "competence," which are like a tree's branches or "capacities that enable us to produce" (capabilities) and its fruits or "the visible, tangible, measurable outcomes that are most easily seen and evaluated by others" (results).
Let's examine what these cores teach us about the importance of credibility during authentic, civil, and often difficult, conversations.
Integrity. Covey states that integrity involves "honesty" and also I "integratedness," congruence "inside and out," and "having the courage to act in accordance with your values and beliefs." In conversation, especially when we disagree, we must stand by our convictions. Someone with integrity expresses their disagreement and establishes how and why they believe as they do based on their values and beliefs. Integrity also implies respect for others and how and why they believe as they do, even as they disagree without attacking the other's character or integrity.
People with integrity are not threatened by others' beliefs or fearful of the harmful exposure of others' views as we might see when someone seeks to suppress another's speech, ban their reading preferences, or shout down or over them so they can't be heard. Integrity in discourse and debate means having the confidence of one's beliefs and that their argument will "win the day" when weighed against the fully vetted views of others. It also means having the courage to not maintain a "foolish consistency," and to be open to other viewpoints, persuaded by them when it makes sense, and confident in our reasoning for making the shift without compromising the internal integrity that guides us.
Intent. Intent involves our motives and agendas and whether they "are straightforward and based on mutual benefit." Covey states, "[w]hen we suspect a hidden agenda from someone or we don't believe they are acting in our best interests, we are suspicious about everything they say and do." I previously discussed how our motives, if not sincere, can cause our conversations to deteriorate from a stated desire for understanding and collaboration to a pursuit of selfish interests in winning an argument, defeating another's position, and even waging personal verbal attacks. We often don't get a second chance. If we betray the trust in initial conversations by betraying our true intent, others won't trust us again when we approach to have a similar conversation, make a request, or seek support or collaboration. People quickly perceive when you are "in it for yourself" and it will take a supreme effort to restore trust after violating it through your suspect discourse, interactions, and behaviors.
Capabilities. We establish credibility when we possess "talents, attitudes, skills, knowledge, and style" that "inspire confidence." Covey illustrates the importance of capabilities in establishing credibility with the specialized doctor who has integrity and sincere motives to bring healing but lacks the necessary skills to perform the task. You may like your dentist but won't trust him to perform brain surgery.
The concern with "capabilities" in civil discourse is contextual. Two friends debating the latest political issues or the relative strengths and weaknesses of their favorite, and opposing, sports teams may make wild assertions based on a combination of unchecked, unverifiable opinions and facts pulled from partisan sources, conflict entrepreneurial pundits, or personal observation and memory. We expect a different standard from politicians seeking our vote, leaders asking us to follow them, and scholars, experts, influencers, speakers, and writers seeking our buy-in. We find them credible, or not, based on our confidence in how they back their work and positions with appropriate knowledge, expertise, sources, and experience that we either accept as trustworthy or dismiss as unreliable.
These distinctions in relative capability are instructive when we seek to persuade others during civil discourse. Always consider, given your audience and the forum in which you are engaged, how you will demonstrate the appropriate knowledge, expertise, and capability to win others over while maintaining your credibility. Consider as well when confronted by others during discourse how or whether they demonstrate these capabilities to inspire your confidence and trust -- or undermine it.
Results. "[O]ur reputation precedes us," Covey states, "when we achieve the results we promised [and] establish a positive reputation of performing." We establish credibility through "our track record, our performance, our getting the right things done."
Evaluating "results" in civil discourse is again contextual. Consider what is meant when someone says, "who are you to tell me...?" Can you credibly answer this question when you assert your viewpoint? As a partisan sports fan from the example above, I may have all the credibility I need as I spout off opinion and perhaps a bit of nonsense in a friendly argument about who the "GOAT" is in football, women's basketball, or any Olympic sport. If am a leader, and I am sincere, I will go further in persuading you if I can establish not only that I have the knowledge and expertise about which I speak but can show through my experiences and accomplishments that what I say is credible and worthy of your consideration.
Effectiveness in civil conversation begins long before we open our mouths and depends on how we are received in the conversation and how we are perceived beforehand. Do you possess the character and competence needed to be effective, respected, and understood? Are you credible? Consider these questions before engaging in your next important conversation.
